#4

So as of now, I have had a lot of free time here in Dar. Because of this, I have been able to do a lot of thinking and praying. All this thinking led to a question I asked myself. The question is, "What is it about the gospel that I am ashamed of?"...

This took me back for a moment . I thought to myself, "surely I am not ashamed of the message of Jesus; I am on a semester long mission trip in East Africa for crying out loud." But, then I think of all the times that I do not speak up, or become really withdrawn in conversation, can I call it anything but being ashamed? I think I can sugar coat it enough and tell myself it just wasn't a good opportunity, but why hide it? Apparently sometimes I am ashamed of the gospel. But why?

Paul addresses this issue more than once in the New Testament. So it has been a problem before... Good news for me, I am not the only one.... but bad news, because while I might not be the only one, I still am one. So what is it that I am embarrassed of? Is it the fact that Christianity just isn't popular today? Maybe it is my own shortcomings in my walk with the Lord, and I don't feel the right to pry into other people's lives. Perhaps is a more specific issue in scripture... like debates over alcohol or speaking in tongues that I sometimes would rather not deal with... But the more I think about it, the more I realize that it is none of these things. I think, more than anything, I am choked up sometimes by the controversial figure that Jesus was.

Jesus is hard to deal with, honestly. For the believer, it is hard to grasp that He gave us commands rather than suggestions. Even harder to admit that we are slaves to Christ, indebted to Him everything we are and hope to be, rather than servants who come and go... and are rewarded for it. For the nonbeliever, it is hard to accept the pivotal truth that Jesus is THE ONLY WAY. There is no other. There are times when I can preach the gospel with passion and a boldness that can only come from the power of God, but there are also times when that passion is no where to be found. So for me, I think the fact of the matter is, that sometimes I just do not want to present Jesus. That must change. I know that I am not responsible for what people do with Jesus, nor would I want to be. That is for God to do. However, I am very much responsible for giving an account of who Jesus is, what He has done in my life, and what He wants for all people. This is much easier said than done. Sometimes it like God is asking a lot, especially while I am in a foreign country, but Jesus gave us fair warning as to what it is to follow after Christ. (Luke 14:26-33 among others) But is our reward not so much greater?

It is my prayer, for me as well as all of you, that our love for the Lord may become greater each day; Hoping that we would all begin to carry the message of reconciliation that God has entrusted to us, with more passion than ever before.

 I need a drastic change of pace from the way I so casually and sometimes carelessly carry it now. Jesus is who all scripture points to, He is the one who all creation praises, and He is the one I am forever indebted to because of His supreme love that is the basis of my salvation.

Peace,

JOel